A prince/princess is locked in a tower. Two knights rescue them and bring her to safety. Both knights propose to he/she/it. The prince/princess cannot decide between the two of them, so the knights start to battle for the prince/princesses hand in marriage. While the two are fighting, the prince/princess runs off on their own to marry someone they truly love. (This person is someone of the same gender as the prince/princess).
Scene One-Castle-Int.
King/Queen is sitting at the throne. The knights are kneeling in front of them with a bow. Their swords at their sides.
King/Queen: Congratulations my mighty heroes, you two are the final members of this quest to save the princess/prince. Your next quest to is to find the locked tower and save the princess/prince. The person who saves her/him gets to marry the princess/prince. If both of you complete the mission, the prince/princess will choose.
Scene Two-Woods-Ext.
The knights are walking through the forest on their journey
Knight 1: Just to be clear, I’m going to marry the prince/princess, right?
Knight 2: Your kidding, right? I’m obviously more worth of the prince/princess. Besides, the queen/king said that I have their blessing.
Knight 1: They say that to every knight in the kingdom. Including me.
(Hears a giant whoosh. Knight one jumps and grabs onto Knight two.)
Knight 2: What are you doing??? Wait…. Are you scared?
Knight 1: (scoffs) Of course not!
Knight 2: Sure. Whatever. Anyways, it was probably just a deer. Let’s move on. We don’t have all day.
Knight 1: Okay. I just really hope that was a deer.
(The knights continue to walk as night falls.)
Knight 1: This looks like a good place to camp out for the night. I’ll find some food while you build a shelter.
Knight 2: Got it.
(Knight 1 walks off stage, Knight 2 starts to build a extremely tiny shelter.)
(Knight 1 returns holding a dead rabbit.)
Knight 2: I finished our tent!
Knight 1: Seriously?? I meant a shelter that we could sleep in! Not one for ants!
Knight 2: Well how was I supposed to know??
Knight 1: Common sense maybe?
(The knights eat their dinner and and go to sleep.)
Scene Three-Tower-Ext.
In the tower the prince/princess is trapped and the task of the knights are to rescue the princess
Knight 1: How are we going to get her down?
Knight 2: Lets just climb up
Knight 1: But there are spikes that can KILL us!!!!!!!!
Knight 2: So what, you wimp. I would do anything for my prince/princess
Knight 1: But your going to die either day so why not spare my life (he mumbles to himself)How about we come up with a plan!
Knight 2: Well I guess I don't have a choice
Knight 1: Okay how about you climb around the deadly, poison covered spikes and i will just wait down here.
Knight 2: Are you scared of the spikes, you little wimp?
Knight 1: You try making a better plan then
Knight 2: Gulp
Knight 1: That's what i thought
(Knight 2 goes and rescues the prince/princess, then, once she comes down, both proposed at the same time)
Both Knights say in unison: LET’S BATTLE (they sword fight)
Scene Four-Tower-Int.
Princess/Prince is distressed and walks about tower. Sounds of sword clanging can be heard in the background
Princess/Prince: What is that awful noise! (Looks out window) Ugh it’s some knight. Whatever, I need to make myself some dinner. (Prince pauses while walking toward the kitchen.) Wait, what if.. What if they are here to rescue me? Did father/mother really set me up so I finally can marry my opposite lover? He locked me in already! He/She won’t stop trying! Doesn’t he/she know that I don’t want to marry my opposite gender? (Princess/prince pauses, wondering.) Ah ha! If they really are here to rescue me, I’ll just run away from them! (Princess smiles to herself.) I have a brilliant idea.
Meanwhile the knights have finished battling, coming to a lose-lose. Both are injured. The knights starts climbing the tower.
Knight one: Lift me up you stupid brick head!
Knight two: Can you not see I’m climbing behind you? If I help you I would fall.
Knight one: Well good cause then you would be taken care of and I will marry the Prince/Princess.
Knight two: (rolls his eyes and continues climbing.)
(Knight one reaches tower first and abandons knight two as he struggles to get up.)
Knight one: (screams) AHHH THERE IS A SPIDER!!!
Knight two: (Brushes off) look for the princess/prince you idiot!
Knight one: I thought you were the idiot…
Knight two: (Cuts off) I found the princess/prince!
Prince/princess is lying on her bed, eyes closed and smiling as if asleep.
Knight two: How do we wake up her/his highness?
Knight one: You kiss her/him
Knight two: I’m doing that
Knight one: no I am
(They fight their way over until knight one manages to get to her. He leans over for a kiss, and the prince/princess sneezes.)
Knight one: (wipes off his face) Ughhh
Knight two: (laughs)
Prince/ Princess: (stands up and brushes off) What are you waiting for aren’t you here to rescue me?
Knight one and two hesitate. And without a word bow, and escorts her/his highness out of the tower. They land safely.
Scene Five-Forest-Ext.
Both knights kneel before the prince/princess and pull out a ring.
Knight 1: Prince/princess, will you marry me?
Knight 2: No! Don’t marry that knucklehead! Marry me!
Prince/princess: I can’t decide!
The knights start to fight, calling each other names and throwing insults. He back away from the prince/princess. Since the knights pulled their attention away from the prince/princess, they run away back to the kingdom.
Prince/princess: I want to marry my true love Morgan! I must find her/him!
The prince/princess finds he/she true love. she gets down on one knee.
Prince/princess: Morgan, will you marry me?
Morgan: Oh yes malady! I love you!
Morgan and the prince/princess hug and run off stage holding hands.
Everyone come on stage and bows
Everyone: The End!
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